Saddest day in a long time.

I'm home now.  but before i get to that, let me discuss the past week...

The past week has been full of last meals, last drinks, and overall way to many lasts and final this or thats.  I had a wonderful time hanging out with everyone up to about friday around noon.  I gave dad a call and he was driving up to bring me home and he had only gotten about 2 hours into the trip and had already been driving for 4.  needless to say, it took him 11 hours to get to school.  When he arrived, it hit me.  This is it, I'm leaving this place forever as a student and will only return as less and less people that I actually went to college with are going to be here.  I looked mortified when he stepped out of the car and i started to loose it.  Like a black angel, I knew it was done and that I would be leaving soon.  I started to pack all of my clothes while Colleen and Tony carried everything out to the car.  I turn around, and the room is empty and I LOST IT.  Carried the clothes bin out to the car and gave dad a hug and said I would be back in a few.  I walked down the hallway and said goodbye to everyone who was home and had made a difference in my life in the past 4 years.  I got back down to my room, and gave Colleen, Tony, Jacquie and Eric a last hug, and started to walk down the hall.  I turn around and they all started to sing "THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOENST END..."  and I started to laugh between sobs.  I walked out the door and as soon as the door shut and I couldn't hear them singing anymore I was a wreck.  It's over.  I got in the car and we drove to the front of Gregory Hall, I handed in my key, the same key i have had for 2 years to my room, that will always be mine, and walked back out the front door of gregory and cried so hard I almost threw up.  I got in the car, dad and I drove past Mason, past King Concert Hall, past the Williams Center, past the quads and the lawn that I looked at from my window every morning, past Park Place where I spent many nights partying, around ring road, around symphony circle, past Maytum Hall, and the clock tower, and off the campus.  You would of thought that I had just lost my entire family and had no where to live.  I felt this homeless feeling, a feeling of completion, a feeling of the unknown, and a feeling of uncertainty about the future.  We went to the hotel, Dad gave me a huge hug and said, "You know as a parent I never want to see my child sad, but I know that something like this is something much greater then me.  Know that you have made so many friends, you have networked all over the state and country, and know what everyone who has ever met you has found, a great person who will do anything to help them out.  You are going to go do great things, this is just the end of a chapter, but this needs to end so that you can begin the next chapter, which will be better then the last, because you have the knowledge on how to make it better."  I wish that made me happier, but it didn't.  I knew it was going to be hard, but i could have never expected it to be that hard.

In hind sight, I wish I did more, but thats natural

 i feel.  I think everyone says that, they wish they did more, but I don't think you can come out of college and say you did everything you wanted to.

Im home now for the holidays, which is going to be very interesting...